Start Starting

I am a recovering perfectionist. So I really mean it when I tell you I wasn’t actually as prepared as I wanted to be for the  New Year. I didn’t have all my aspirations fully fleshed out. I hadn’t finished filling in my Unraveling 2013 workbook.  I have some loose ideas and over arching plans, but as for the smaller mini-goals that make up each month…nada. I planned to launch this blog  fully ready on January 1st. Nope. Oh it is launched, but it’s not where I want it to be yet, it’s just barely here, hanging on to being a blog by the hair of its chinny-chin-chin.  Deep down in the dark recesses of my personal crazy, that bothers me. A lot, actually. That’s the perfectionist rearing her head.  She likes to tell me that the world likes me better when I’m all put together.

She’s basically a big liar.

It may be true that the world likes to see a pretty, polished finished product. There’s nothing wrong with being put together, with presenting excellence and looking your very best.  There’s nothing wrong with it as long as that desire doesn’t become the thing that handcuffs you to the dead weight of impossible standards rather than allowing you to jump off the cliff and fly.

I wanted to have many more things more put together than they are this day, but instead of getting  bogged down in the unprepared details, I started starting anyway.

I ran two miles.
I took one picture.
I didn’t eat anything that wasn’t actual food.
I blogged.
I did the things I knew fit into the larger picture of year even though I don’t have all the components in place yet.

I started starting because even the small, stuttering steps are more progress than standing still. Because perfect is an illusion we create in our heads that keeps us from doing anything real. Because I have to start sometime and it might as well be today, here, now.

I started starting which can be the most difficult step of all. If we haven’t started we can’t fail, or fall, or end up with pie on our face after announcing to everyone all of our lofty goals and expectations.  I don’t have to work hard, or be uncomfortable or wonder if you like me, you really like me if I don’t get started.

I guess what I really want to say today is this: maybe your day today didn’t go like you hoped. Maybe your last week, or month, or year picked you up and rolled you feet over head until you didn’t know which way was up. Maybe you got burned, hurt, surprised, scared, ridiculed…

Start starting anyway. It doesn’t have to be perfect or impressive. It doesn’t even have to be noticed. YOU will know.  You will know that today you traveled just one more step down the life road. The scenery will change a bit and tomorrow you could wake up with an entirely new perspective. But you have to at least start. You don’t have to finish, just start.

Just start starting. It’s the best choice I’ve made so far this year.

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11 thoughts on “Start Starting

  1. Thanks!! I was excited to share with someone today that I placed my garden order because that is one one my goal for the year; to be more organized and plan it out better. That person tried to crush my excitement by telling me I should have a smaller garden. Your last couple paragraphs reminded me that I am starting on my plans and goals, not theirs. I will be excited for myself and I will grow a big garden because I LOVE to share the abundance with others and provide for my family. Thank you!

    • Heidi that makes me so happy! One of the things I am working on this year is not tearing people down because they aren’t doing or saying things the way *I* would do them. We each have to be ourselves and only we can know what’s right for us! I’m glad you love your garden! I love reading about it! One day I aspire to have one as well!

  2. My mom sent me this quote when I was writing my thesis, er, trying to start AND finish my thesis a little over 10 years ago. I think you might like it.

    “The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.” It’s attributed to Mark Twain, although there’s a debate about the truth of that.

    Congrats on the new blog…looking forward to following it!
    Lee

  3. I started starting a couple of days ago, at least in the spiritual growth area. My blog went public today. Today was also a birthday in our house so I didn’t have great big plans other than celebrating the boy child’s birthday, and cooking dinner for the family. The only other thing was to start cleaning out the book case by my bed, that actually has few books and lots of yarn on it. But my husband decided to share his cold, his really nasty, mind numbing, body aching cold with me, so I got the first two things done (birthday and dinner cooked) and spent most of the rest of the day in bed….

    But tomorrow is a new day, so I will continue starting tomorrow.

  4. All right, got your new digs linked up. 😀 I had a moment last week when I was writing out my list of goals where I stared at the page, fumbling with my words. All the sudden, I was hit with the thought: It doesn’t have to be perfect. Cut that out. Just write it out. You can make it pretty later!

    • isn’t that hard? I wanted everything to be perfectly laid out and lined up, but that didn’t happen. And it didn’t happen because I was busy LIVING during the holidays. I have to live to have food for my blog, which means in turn, I have to allow my blog the grace to be imperfect.
      But it’s not easy…

  5. Pingback: A Week in Pics Ed 1 « Mo'Joy Abundant

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